if i ever have kids instead of being like “it’s a boy” im going to send out highly bewildering cards that say things like “it’s the chosen one” and “it’s probably not a lizard” and “we’re not sure what it is, but it just set the couch on fire, please send help” with a different thing to every person i send one to just to see what people show up at the baby shower with
"They had me rigged on this thing where I’m holding onto handles on his shoulder with my legs wrapped around his neck. He’s kinda trying to throw me off and I’m on top of him and it was so many hours of me, riding him like a mechanical bull.”
"And we’re looking over at the producers and we’re like, ‘are you happy now? Do we have enough footage?’ and they’re like, ‘looks great on camera!" - (x)
I saw the beginning and was like “what the fuck” and then I scrolled and was like “what the fuck”
what are some cool foods to involve in sex besides whipped cream
NOT EGGS eggwhites feel like lube but it is NOT THE SAME
this has been a public service announcement
I feel like there’s a story here but I don’t want to hear it
if a gay guy complements a girl does he say “no hetero” afterwards?
I respect those people who get a lot done on their days off cause I am the absolute opposite and do nothing all day whenever I can
X-MEN #16 & 17
Cover by TERRY DODSON
This was always my favorite part of WLIIA, when they just kept running with the same joke.
like colin’s meow joke